


A little conversation

by monaboyd_archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-05
Updated: 2003-12-05
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:29:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7638361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monaboyd_archivist/pseuds/monaboyd_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The talking cocks Nesseh and Weasel are back, this time making some comparisions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A little conversation

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the Monaboyd.net Archive, which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile.

“Come on Bills, let’s get the hot water before the others do.” Dominic tugged Billy’s arm in the direction of the beach house.

“Aye, that’s a good idea. Ah think Ah’ve had about enough of the surfing today. Time ta get this bloody suit off and inta some friendlier water so ta speak.” Billy was all too happy to call it a day and join Dom in some activity much more relaxing.

**********************************************  
_"I'mmmmm FRREEEEEEEEEEE!!"_ crowed the Wonder Weasel as soon as Dom peeled back the black wetsuit off his slim hips.

_"Ach, shaddup already yeh great tosser, yeh always go on like that when yer Dom removes the suit.”_

_“Awwwwww Nesseh, you know how I hate to be all bound up in that…that bloody…trap. Wanker Boy never binds me in underclothes and such, tis unnatural to be so bound up in all that rubbery darkness.”_

_“Yeh have nuthin to complain about. Yeh ought to try going commando under a good Scottish kilt as HisSelf does. Course being the true Scot Ah am, it doesn’t bother us in the least.”_

_“Now that’s a fuckin lie if ever I heard one! Yer Scot burned his bum but good when he went down that slide in the playground that night!_

_“Ach, that was his wee bum not his kilt monsta that got the burn, Ah’ll have yeh remember!”_

_“Alright alright…ahhhhhhhh feel that nice hot water! Gonna get rubbed I know it!”_

_“HisSelf always gives meh a good pettin whenever we are in the shower and yer Dom does some nice pettin too. In fact, Ah feel mahself growing even now!”_

_“Well now, speakin of growing, I’m stretching myself too, your Scot has a sweet touch, sliddin my hoodie back so nice and all. Ever notice Nesseh how much bigger I am than you?”_

_“Grrrrrrrrrr…that’s a fookin lie Weasel! Ah’m every bit as big as yerrrrrrself. In fact, Ah do believe Ah’m even a wee bit biggerrrrr than yeh! HisSelf didn't name me after the Loch Nessie fer no good reason yah know ye great daft buggerrrr!_  
"********************************************

“Dom ya great buggarrrr, can yeh do mah back now? Yeh gotta let go of yerself and start scrubbing mah back. We are going ta have company in this shower just any moment now”

“Alright, Alright Bills. Hand me that soap and I’ll do your back…then you can do me! And I do mean dooooooo me”  
**********************************************  
_"Did ya hear that Nesseh? We are going to be having company soon! Bet it’s the Yanks!”_

_‘Weasel, yeh ever notice anything strange about those Yanks?”_

_“Wotcha mean Nesseh? OooooooOOOoooo…I love that soap! Wanker Boy got my hoodie back”_

_“That’s it precisely Weasel, the Yanks…they haven’t got any hoods! Bald as a wee bairns bum!”_

_“No hoods? How can ...”_  
**********************************************

The shower curtain slid back and revealed both Elijah and Sean, naked and grining at Dom and Billy.

“Fuck man, you two fucking got to the shower before us!” Elijah pouted prettily.

“Well doncha be wastin the heat by standin out there, climb on in mates”

“Thanks Billy, sharing a shower will certainly help save resources…”

“Shut it Sean. Just get in and start using the bloody water before you make us regret not drownin ya out there” Dom grumbled but made way for the two newcomers.  
**********************************************

_"Hey, its Elwood and Cockzilla come ta see us Weasel!_

_“Yer right Nesseh, they really don’t have any hoods! Mates, where did yer hoods go to?”_

_“Hoods? What fucking hoods? We are sleek cut cocks, we fuckin don’t have no fuckin hoods.”_

_“What Elwood means to say is that we are true American cocks, fully beautiful and perfect as true patriotic Americans can be”_

_“Oh Shut. It. Already. Cockzilla…._  
_Well, ya might not have any proper hoods but you do have to admit that we Brit cocks are bigger lot than you Yanks”_  
**********************************************

“Hey guys…pass the fuckin soap over here, Sean and I would like to fuckin use some before you two fuckin wankers use it up. Here, take the fucking shampoo…”

“Doodle…do yeh eat with that mouth? Ah fookin don’t think Ah’ve evah heard fook used quite so much as yeh do.”

“Hey, Lij, this stuff is that great American soap that Liv sent us! I wondered who absconded with it. Why don’t you scrub my back first?”

“Fuck yes, I’ll scrub your back…and other parts…”  
**********************************************

_"Ummmm Weasel…about what yeh were saying about us bein biggerrrr?”_

_“Bloody hell! Cockzilla! You could put out an eye! You better stay away from Wanker Boy and the Scot! Bloody huge!I bet you make Elwood there scream"_

_"Ohhhhh fuck yes" giggled Elwood._  
**********************************************  
A short while later all four men emerged from the steamy goodness of their joint shower.

“Errrrrmmm…yeh might call meh a bit daft but…did any of yeh hear any….oh…ermm, any wee voices? Ah keep hearin some tiny weeeeee voices but Ah can’t place where Ah am hearin them”

“ Oh Bills, you are a nutter, Come on, lets get moving. Dinner is on Doodle tonight!”

“Now just wait a fuckin moment….wait…I said Waaaaaaaaiiiiittttttt…Fucccccccckkkk”

And off into the sunset our four, er make that eight heroes, walked into the light…


End file.
